“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself”. Guess, this adage quoted by Thich Nhat Hanh suffices the rules for being yourself first, before you expect others to look upon you. Since childhood, we’ve been nurtured in a way that enforces us to feel loved and accepted, by acting in certain ways. As time passes, we become accustomed to this behavior, which is just the beginning of losing our personal power and authenticity. And sooner or later, we realize that we are in the way of destroying our confidence and lowering our self-esteem. While the past cannot be changed, we can definitely alter our present and sketch a fulfilling and loving future. For this, we first need to recondition our beliefs by figuring out what actually is true for us. In the process of being our precious selves, we proceed towards doing that’s true to our heart and true to our souls, but being called stupid by people, resulting in a situation that is not acceptable. But, wasn’t that what you were asked to be - be yourself? Here, comes the problem. But, as every coin has two sides, so does this condition. As long as you follow the following rules and values, you can proudly “be yourself” and live your life on your terms and conditions.
Be Positive
All negative and off-putting statements, like “I never do anything right”, “I’ll never change”, “I’m ugly”, “I look terrible”, “I’m dumb”, or “Who could ever love me?” will not do any better to your confidence, but will, in fact, lower your self-esteem and morale that is inherent in you since childhood. The sooner you view yourself positive and start loving yourself, the earlier you will be yourself, what you actually wanted to achieve. For, the way you talk and think about yourself, reveals how you feel about yourself. Thus, to feel good on the outside, you need to first love yourself from within your heart and soul, apart from thinking good and only good about yourself.
Speak Positive
While thinking and feeling good about yourself can help you drive way ahead in life, but unless you start speaking positive about yourself, the world would be an ignorant individual. Let the world know your goodness via your good attributes and traits. Plus, start your day by making good confessions to yourself to boost your morale and spirits. Use words like “God created me and formed me with his own hands, and God doesn’t make mistakes”, “I am made acceptable by the Beloved”, and so on. Encourage yourself by hugging yourself or looking in the mirror and speaking out loudly “God loves you and accepts you, and so do I”. This therapy proves highly beneficial, particularly for people who have been deprived of love and acceptance in their lives.
Avoid Comparisons
Surely, God must have been a lover of variety; else he would have created all of us similarly. The reason why each one of us is created and crafted differently proves that God has infused something different in every individual. Right from our physical appearance to our character to our fingerprints, every human creature is different and distinct. As such, trying to portray yourself as someone else is being unjust to yourself and God, as well. Besides, you’ll never succeed in being yourself unless you love yourself the way you are. Looking upon other people for references can be a good option, but duplicating them completely, including their good traits will manifest differently from your individual character.
Love Your Potential, Not Limitations
If you are capable of doing something that you excel at, it is best to concentrate on that rather than cribbing over your limitations and something that you cannot achieve. Leave behind your limitations and focus ahead on what you can extract from your positives and potential. This statement is true and perfect for actress Helen Hayes who was just five feet tall, but still managed to grab the role of Mary, Queen of Scotland, one of the tallest queens ever lived. Had she cribbed over her height, she wouldn’t have got the role. Instead, she preferred to concentrate on her acting, which actually was her potential.
Do What You Are Good At
If you spend your time trying to do things you are not good at, you’ll end up being frustrated, forcing you to feel defeated and unsuccessful. Instead, if you utilize your time in doing things that you can do very well, you know you will come out with good results, which, in turn, will give you feelings of happiness and success. So, isn’t it better to find joy and happiness in performing little things you are perfect at, rather than experimenting with new and big projects, that may turn out to be disastrous.
So, the next time you hear yourself saying “I love gardening, but I don’t have time” or “I love to golf, but I’m too busy”, look up to the pointers listed above and remember, your happiness is your first priority. Go, grab your life!
